Dear readers, Your beloved protagonist has been beset upon by the wretched influenza virus and was unable to turn out for the Wizard Sleeves last night!! Fear not faithful fans, this band of brothers with unmatched morale pulled together in the absence of their fearless leader and go the job done. Huzzah! But back to yours truly, has one ever heard of a more preposterous time of the year to contract this deadly virus? I thought winter was the period of contraction for such things? Also surprising, is that, while other young rapscallions are out on the town at all hours injecting the marijuana and stealing garden gnomes, i was at home in bed early and took myself out for a brisk run and a hefty gym workout, but none of this an stem the viral tide of humanity's most annoying virus.

The fact is, i work in an office. So, generally with the flu, you're ill enough that productivity and mental arithmetic will present a challenge but not really ill enough to reach the required sympathy level to take a sick day. Oh, to work for the government, where sick leave can actually get taken without being in exchange for derision and guilt inducements from management. Where are these unwritten laws that dictate the very narrow parameters for acceptable sick days? Or do i just care too much?

As for the weekend, i know you are all eagerly awaiting the report from Friday night, but a gentleman does not kiss and tell but let me just say this, when a man takes a lady to the $6.50 Friday night special then chaperons her to Hungry Jacks and offers here any tasty morsel of her choosing (to the value of $10.00, reasonably!) and is not rewarded with some intimacy and affection then i say this, i believe that what the women of today are expecting must be beyond your humble narrator! A cultured Lothario such as myself should not be having to fulfill certain culinary and monetary outlays simply to win a lady's hand! But enough of such trifles.

This week in the fantasy football world things are looking up, at this stage we may be looking at 4 wins from four starts which would be a most prosperous outcome for our teams this week, and heaven knows a couple of them need a swift kick to the buttocks with their pantaloons removed!

The fillum the my lady friend and i attended entitled "Burn after reading" was an enjoyable film, guaranteed to keep you guessing as to the outcome. It was quite enjoyable to see Messrs. Pitt and Clooney playing characters not of the super-suave hero but actually squeamishly idiotic fools unaware of their own stupidity. Pitt's parody of the super fit, super retarded personal trainer had me in fits of laughter as there are many people i encounter on a weekly basis who i could attach to this person. Oh for the day when people cannot afford personal trainers, so that this pox on the face of humanity can join the unemployment line and get a real job where vanity is not a prerequisite. Ah, yes but back to the cinematic presentation, expect the unexpected and be prepared to use your brain to find the humour. If you thought 'Step Brothers' or 'Talledega Nights' was absolutely hilarious then perhaps you should go find a Pauly Shore marathon instead of seeing this darkly comedic gem.

Anyway readers, i thank you in advance for your many well wishes, influenza drugs, massages and pizzas, but i must get my rest in order to become one of full health to supply you with bite sized ramblings later in the week. Farewell.